Posts Tagged: life change

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Ever since I’ve come home from school I’ve had a lot of time to think. Thinking is an excellent thing to do but without school I don’t have other things to focus on so I cannot stop myself when I start worrying about life.

In January, I decided I was going to start living for me. Like today was the last day of my life because for all I know today could be the last day of my life. That’s a sad reality that we all must realise as depressing as it is. But along with working everyday and knowing that I have to go to school for the next three years and get into some huge debt along the way made me realise that my dreams were no longer in reach. There was no way I’d be able to accomplish what that 3 year old (and I have full recollection of being 3 deciding upon this dream) had in mind. Because once I come out of school I have to work right away to remove that debt.

Then today happened.

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I live in fear and don’t know why.
I do realize I’m gonna die.
And If I did I would regret
that my life’s been a wasted bet.
The time for change now has come.
I will live like I’m the only one.
Try things once, and maybe twice.
Who cares if I’m on thin ice.

The ice has cracked.
I’m on my back
and slowly falling through.
I turn around and run to the ground.
At least I followed through.

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I hate making decisions on my own. Sometimes, I would just rather be told what I should do. But sometimes when I’m told what to do it ends up being the wrong thing. Life is full of conflict.

I’m a university student which means I’ve already made one of the biggest decisions of my life.

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